Friday Gospel Recharge Series
Friday Gospel Recharge
A Reflection on Matthew 19: 3-12
(19th Friday in Ordinary Time, Year A of the Liturgical Calendar, 2023)
A much longer commitment is what Jesus had intended for us
What Jesus teaches us in this Gospel is that divorce - although prevalent in our culture today and perhaps, in Jesus time - is not something intended in the big scheme of divine things. The text is clear: it was Moses who issued certificates of divorce for those whose hearts were stiff to be reconciled, and not God. In fact, now that God never intended divorce an acceptable practice, he likens it to adultery if the divorcee remarries.
Is this saying too difficult for us to accept? Our modern world who issues one divorce cert. after another would find this intolerable. I speak from personal experience. Family members and friends of my own are remarried. They never seem to consider any advice on reconciling with their sacramental spouses but instead dismiss it, pretending the thought of reconciliation is an impossible game or an inconvenience. Even parents of these people don’t like to hear about it. Their excuse is that the rest of the world is doing it so what’s the problem? A pathetic response in my opinion when these folks profess to carry Jesus in the hearts and on their lips and cross themselves before a holy icon of our Lord. This attitude towards marriage does not align with what Jesus tells us here: if a divorced person marries another, that person commits adultery.
Jesus must have had a reason for preaching this difficult doctrine which is highly regarded by the modern world as intolerable. It’s intolerable because as human beings we want more for ourselves in life and if we live selfishly, we are going to want more of the good things via illicit means which violates God’s commandments. If in our hearts we have More and the means to more is by rejecting God’s boundaries, than hearing this doctrine is hard to accept. However, we must remember that Jesus wants us to have more too just as our hearts desires, even if our means to attaining more of whatever that might be is unacceptable. He says so himself: ‘I’ve come to give you life and to have it to the full’. To have more as Jesus intended it requires us to listen to him and accept his teachings. When we do this, we find a more fulfilling life.
Our faith teaches us that Jesus is God who is one with the Father and that God is love. Whatever God tells us in scripture and whatever he has done for us through others in the scriptures is because he loves us. If God is love and Jesus tells us that divorce and remarriage is tantamount to and is in fact adulterous, we must consider for a moment why this doctrine is spoken from a place of love. Jesus has our best interest at heart. He wants us to flourish and for that to happen he must direct and govern our lives. Divorce is never a clean business. Most of us know this with firsthand experience since we know someone we love who is divorced and perhaps sadly remarried unsacramentally. If they have children, they get caught in the mess of it all too. While it has an emotional toll on both parties it is also ecologically taxing. Think about the extra beds that need manufacturing so that divorced spouses and their displaced children need to sleep on, all those extra household appliances when one would do for a family unit, or the extra houses that need constructing and the space it takes up. Each square meter required to build new homes means one less square meter for sister bee and brother wolf to share and coexist with us. Sensible beings such as non-human animals while are a beautiful sight to behold play a vital part In the ecosystem that allow our existence to flourish.
There are good grounds that one must separate from their spouse especially if they are violent. I am not saying a man or a woman should remain in a household if their life is threatened, that would go against Gospel values but let’s face it not all marriages are abusive and if one is subject to abuse, our Lord tells us that this doesn’t warrant for remarriage as it would mean adultery is committed. His or her option is to isolate from the violent one and seek counselling.
However, the church does provide a condition for a valid marriage. One who is entering a marital contract require four conditions for its validity, which are free will, consent, have the intention to marry for life, and to be open to children. If I can add a fifth, no impediments such as one of the parties has not been married. Now if you don’t satisfy these conditions the Church - through the marriage tribunal - provides an opportunity to explore the possibility of an annulment, provided that one or more of the elements of the validity have not been met at the marriage. This process is thorough and can be very slow (up to 5 years because it has to be completely sure that one has legitimate grounds for an annulment and that there has been an impediment from the beginning). In other words, the marriage covenant is a serious business and not broken through annulment lightly.
On a much deeper level, Jesus preachers against divorce and remarriage because marriage is a sacrament and that marriages should reflect the love the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit have for each other. God are three distinct beings united in love. They are never divorced from their love but each wills the good of the other. As a married person you’re ought to reflect this love with your spouse because marriage is a covenant between both God and your spouse.
As disciples of Jesus, what does this mean to us? It means a number of things but I will propose two things. Firstly, if we are single and are prepared to get married, choose your spouse wisely and discern through prayer with Jesus whether he or she is the appropriate partner and whether you have a vocation to marriage. If you are married and find the commitment a struggle, find a way forward to preserve not because it’s your duty, but because you love God and the one whom you have promised to death do you part. Thirdly, if you have a happy marriage then continue to build on the relationship between your spouse and God and be an example for all who aspire for a lifelong commitment of love through this sacrament.
Amen, praise God.
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